A little update as life becomes busier and my posts may become less frequent…
When I became pregnant with Izzy, the thought was to take my 3 month maternity leave and return to work. As the pregnancy went on, Sterling and I had more and more conversations about my work environment – weighing the pros and cons – and ultimately decided that it would be okay if I took off a bit longer. That “bit” turned into Izzy’s first full year of life, and although we didn’t know it at the time, taking a year off would have been necessary regardless due to her hospitalization, her outpatient appointments, her medicines, and just the fact that with everything going on, Sterling and I were not comfortable putting her needs in someone else’s care. Basically God had a plan before we did, isn’t that how it always seems to work out?
Taking a year off of work definitely puts a burden on the finances of the household, but my oh my, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I always told moms after having my first child how much I would recommend to take the “full” 3 month maternity leave. Now – girl, take a year. You will never get that time or those moments back. There are good days and there are bad days, happy hours and frustrating hours, but every minute, every milestone, I was there. I was able to take Izzy to all of her appointments, I was able to feed her how she needed to be fed, I was able to hold her when she wanted held, I was able to watch her grow, I was able to take it all in.
Now I am back to working 9-5 Monday through Friday as a high school counselor, and truthfully I’m not mad to be back, I enjoy what I do, and I love a paycheck 😅, but the only reason I’m not breaking down every day when I drop her off is because she’s in my parent’s care. Without them, I’m not sure what we would do. But I am sure I wouldn’t be back working.
Being a working mom is hard. Being a stay at home mom is hard. Being a mom is hard. We have to choose the mom-path that gives us joy. Although I would have never wished for my daughter to have a diagnosis, I am beyond grateful that I was able to be her fulltime caretaker for her first year of life. She’s thriving and even though I know it’s solely because she’s a strong-willed rockstar, I also like to think that I had something to do with it. 🥰✨💕