Home 22q11.2 Coping with a Child’s Diagnosis – Part 4

Coping with a Child’s Diagnosis – Part 4

by Summerly Rowlands

Remembering the Small Wins

In our 4th and final post on coping with a child’s diagnosis, I want to talk about the importance of focusing on the small wins and not trying to understand the whole picture.

If I still spent my days thinking the way I did when all of this started, I can honestly say I’m not sure where my family would stand and I am sure we wouldn’t be providing this platform.

Just as it took time to get through the 5 stages of grief and as it took time to find my reason why, it also took time to stop trying to plan or predict the future. It took time to embrace our daily life instead of stressing over it.

With Izzy’s diagnosis, there is so much unknown. I would lose what little sleep I was actually getting overthinking about the what-ifs, trying to have answers for all the questions in my head, which led to nothing but frustration and anxiety and sadness. I did this a lot at the hospital, feeling doomed and overwhelmed with not only things happening in that day or week, but things happening months or years from now; overanalyzing what may or may not be. That wasn’t helping anyone or anything. So I had to pause. I had to stop. And eventually, as hard it was, I did. Now, I’m not perfect and my mind still wanders from time to time, but I am able to do a much better job of snapping out of it, snapping back to the present, and finding the small wins in that day or that moment.

As I’m writing this, one thing to keep in mind is that everyone’s wins are different. What may be a small (or big) win for one person is going to seem like an easy, every day task for another. I would never wish this type of hardship on a family or individual, but I do wish more people could see their lives through the small wins perspective. I believe that doing so keeps you grounded & leads to simpler happiness. At least it has for me.

Wins for our family look like this:

A good blood draw,

Keeping one more bottle down than the day before,

Me not crying after every throw up,

Finding things to laugh at,

Izzy laying on her back for longer periods of time,

Having 15 minutes to cook dinner,

Reading a bedtime story to the boys, …

And so the list goes on.

Just looking at her is a win in itself. 💗

What’s your small win today?

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